Touching happy birthday

Staying up late last night working on my midterm, also kind of welcoming my birthday comes, this morning inevitably became hard to get out of the bed. Considering our time restraint, I suggested us taking it light, save the time for going out for meals, and just work on our school stuff.

Judo was amazingly sweet preparing my day a wonderful memory for me. Literally my tears almost dropped when seeing those messages that he put on those pictures. Joe R. was sweetly there interacting with us about the cake joke. Thinking about a year ago when first getting to know him, I am really grateful that Judo was considerate about building relationship with him by setting some limits of the amount of time I will show up in their house.

Had my counseling video done. The setting was pretty neat. Lights, high chairs,...really looks nice from the video camera. I keep needing to stop myself of wanting things look perfect and great. "It's only about pass and fail!" I yelled. Then resisting the temptation of keeping playing with iMovie and iDVD.

I really enjoy the practice of communicating and expressing ourselves to each other. It not only gives me a super wonderful birthday, but also makes a big smile on Judo's face in the next day's good morning email. :)

Happy Birthday

My birthday is coming!

Even though this week is the busiest midterm week, I am super high and excited about my birthday. It's just midnight on the 24th now. Nothing really happened so far besides birthday card from Golden Gate, birthday gift from Michael C., greeting from Albert C., and sephora free birthday gift! I don't know. Maybe the sense of Judo super cares about me, and we are getting better communicating and interacting cheers me up a lot.

I super enjoyed today's enormous chatting during the day. We shared counseling ministry update, church marriage concept philosophy, Rick's old messages, and on and on and on. I caught myself listening to myself talking. Simply enjoying the moment of sharing my thoughts and articulating my ideas out. That whole realization of "I am doing this now" emerges a super great deal of happiness, achievement, and encouragement. Maybe this doesn't sound as a big deal to others. However, Judo is such an intelligent guy, and I have been admiring him and also wished one day I can contribute more in communication, information exchange and became better in expressing myself in English. Not that I am perfect now, but I improved a lot comparing to a year ago! *Big smile*

Really want to congrats myself a bit! ^__________________^

Birthday is coming! Enjoyed a super great message today from church. Still have several homework/midterm need to finish during this weekend. Ready for challenge! I am back to the learning/studying stage where I used to be in junior high years. Another excitement of that too!

Thanks God for all the things he has done for me. Super grateful!
Happy birthday to me!

Sexuality

Today's reading includes sexuality and sexual therapy.
Though Rosenau, D., Sytsma, M. and Taylor, D. already wrote that counselors need to work on desensitizing your self about sexual topics, I still scream and yell for the whole time while reading it.

Same feeling comes when I checked friends' blog knowing that this person is pregnant, that person just got a baby. I inevitably think I probably should already desensitize these whole area long time ago, shouldn't I? I mean, considering about my age...?

Anyway, one point is that good, correct and healthy sexuality education is important to everyone! (not only in counseling setting)

When I read those chapters, I was really grateful about those information. It seems like God just grant me the right topic and necessary information that I need. Super grateful that I got to read them before next Tuesday!

奇怪的PK

Again feeling this special PK is super annoying.
This is the 4th class, and he has told the whole class the 4th time "xx told me you need to go to your dad and tell him 'Dad, I am sorry, I have been a foolish son....'". THANK YOU VERY MUCH! We already know it. Why exactly you can turn every question and answer to your super great conversion?

We were talking about how Richard Foster's book writes about fast, and sharing what professor said, then you want to share your friend's super neat experience!? Other person can see that you are expanding to another area which is not the question we are talking about. What's the deal?

I feel there has been constantly boasting the "nice experience and record". To be honest, my examination mechanism already starts, and jumps into what's wrong behind that behavior. Another word, I am irritated and want to put him down.

This is super weird experience.

Update 近況

開始上班的日子，似乎就沒有停下來喘息的時間了。

上三天班，把時間調成七點半去，可以四點半就回來。不過也相對的變成五點多就得起床，讀經、吃飯、梳洗、帶中飯，規律的快變成機器人。把Rick的一些message帶在車上聽，很多時候是為了防止自己睡著。寫著都覺得這好像有點太危險了一點！

C#進度很不賴，已經在第五章尾聲。幫PaccommTech改的程式丟到test site之後好像我也就不用管了。成天窩在那個實驗室，看著人來人往進來報修或是報bug，坦白說心裡很懷念（或是羨慕）saddleback的工作環境。以前的經驗實在太享受了。

學校的課業這學期counseling課實在大大深得我心。我也一改之前閉塞的樣子，已經成了老師眼中的特別學生，永遠有問不完的問題。常常覺得自己是不夠鬆軟的海綿，想要學很多方法理論技巧，但是心裡又會響起Bob要保護我們不受其他們派沾染的提醒。同時間也覺得聖經裡很多地方都不是那麼好懂，光是marriage model我們就可以討論很久很久。還是很感恩教會裡的counseling ministry，常常有時候覺得自己是小孩開大車，但是也更多的被提醒不是我們在挽救改變別人的生命，真正做事的是神！這應該是最最大與其他secular counselor的不同吧。

Super busy and tired. Daily schedule becomes like a routine, and always comes with occasional headache. Doing pretty well in C# schedule. Almost finish chapter 5. To be honest, after staying in the lab for whole day, I started missing the saddleback perfect environment.

Love this semester's class. Maybe I should say counseling class. I also changed my attitude to be more talkative, becoming the most special student with endless questions to ask now. Always want to learn more, but at the same time remembering Bob's reminder.

今日碎碎念 mutter

遇上這種隨處隨地要quote the Bible的人，我真的快抓狂了。
這位同仁你大概中斷發表意見五百遍有吧？除了把別人的意見換句話說、重申聖經真的如此說、引用你老爹教會的例子，還有什麼阿？...一整個無言。

Debug

Always knew that Michael wanted me to dig into the codes ASAP. After today's free lunch, he stopped my C# fun time and asked me to fix the problem.

I was scared to death that I was not familiar with Delphi's debug, Pascal code, their application, and so on. I even constantly crashed the whole application because I couldn't figure out what should I do next. Soon, I went hiding in the restroom just prayed. With what I heard this morning from the message, I told God because you are great, you are merciful, you love me, you have wonderful plan for me, you listen to prayer, you are AWESOME (the funny modern term *msg joke*), so, here is my request, let me be courageous and face this challenge.

Working hard to thicken my face, I asked Michael tons of questions. He showed me the difference of tracing, which I never really understand in school; showed me how to manually close application but not rebuilding while in the middle of debugging and crashing application all the time; guided me using search while I get totally lost tracing into another thousand lines of codes function. I gradually understand what I first tried to do wasn't really right. However, as knowing more and more, things started making sense. Typing the order number, I was thinking "testing and debugging is actually quite fun."

This is the simplest code. I literally cheered in the restroom and car after I finished the job on time and got problem solved! Thanks God for my first “actual battle“ experience of being a programmer.

How to meet your wives deepest needs

Hearing the message while driving. End up crying on the road.
I know this is a message to men. When I hear it, of course I will feel good.
And I do have the other side that I need to be aware of and work on.
However, when hearing "there are needs only you can satisfy your mate" "These needs are not met by God, but by you", I literally feel released. I am not sick to have those needs.

Try to cool down the relationship. It is really hard for me because my personality and sensitivity. I tried hard to numb myself by work and school. It was also true that I don't have time to cry and hurt. I need to run with time and get things done as much as possible.

Seriously thinking I can't survive for the next half year financially. The last step will be borrowing money for flight ticket, and work on figuring out how to pay the debt?