He is just a hurting dad

After the long 2-hr prayer, tears kind of stopped for a while and mood has calmed down a little bit. I should have known that Dad won't react nicely before calling. However, the conflicting message still bothers me a lot. The change that has happened inside of me must be really huge and big that I can't really fathom now. Looking at family's reactions and responses, I am really puzzled, confused and hurt. How come showing love does not work? How come taking initiative of reconciliation does not work? How come reflective listening does not work either?

I am reminded that God will always be with me. He will always be my father and is always willing to listen to me and speak to me. I can just be more courageous to ask people to be my mentor, and I will be surrounded by love. Fear not! because God is with me.

Not so comfortable with the idea that my own dad and sister treat me terribly. Guess it's time to be realistic that my wedding won't have dad walk me down the aisle, no family support and encouragement. No money, no blessings, no nothing. Should be o k. Just accept it, process it and have my future.

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.