Love thoughts

Love Is a Choice
by Rick Warren

… That you may love the Lord your God, listen to his voice, and hold fast to him. For the Lord is your life, and he will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. Deuteronomy 30:20 (NIV)

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Love is a choice and a commitment. You choose to love or you choose not to love.

Today we’ve bought into this myth that love is uncontrollable, that it’s something that just happens to us; it’s not something we control. In fact, even the language we use implies the uncontrollability of love. We say, “I fell in love,” as if love is some kind of a ditch. It’s like I’m walking along one day and bam! – I fell in love. I couldn’t help myself.

But I have to tell you the truth – that’s not love. Love doesn’t just happen to you. Love is a choice and it represents a commitment.

There’s no doubt about it, attraction is uncontrollable and arousal is uncontrollable. But attraction and arousal are not love. They can lead to love, but they are not love. Love is a choice.

You must choose to love God; he won’t force you to love him (Deuteronomy 30:20). You can thumb your nose at God and go a totally different way. You can destroy your life if you choose to do that. God still won’t force you to love him. Because he knows love can’t be forced.

And this same principle is true about your relationships: you can choose to love others, but God won’t force you to love anyone.

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One of the friends wanted to become a missionary at Afghanistan. She applied for the teaching position at international school over there. God's calling was so strong in her life that she constantly felt for the poor, the sick, especially in that area. And it comes to this guy whom she's dating now.

"I will see if God lets our relationship grow during this period of time. If it does, that means God wants me to stay here with him and not go to Afghanistan," she said.

Like what the devotion articles says above, people think love is something that just happen to you. It's not even rare to see that attitude in Christian circle. I wonder if we sometimes are just too afraid to admit what's really in our minds. Take the friend as an example, a good question to ask her would be, "do you feel backing off about God's calling because you dream to get married and you don't want to miss it if it can happen with this relationship?" Wanting to get married is not wrong at all. However, if that dream is so big that we are willing to pull off all other aspects of growth in our lives, then it may cause problems in the future.

Love is a choice. God gives us free will, and choosing who to love is definitely within that realm. It's not to say that God has nothing to do with our relationship lives. He definitely bless, guide, and is in control of it. However, stop using God as an excuse to explain why relationship improves or deteriorate. We, are the ones that are responsible for that.