Counseling

Today is my first time starting seeing counselees.
It was HARD. Need to admit that their questioning of whether I am qualified or not doesn't make me feel good. Sitting there at some point, I don't even know how to pray for them.

Steve is leaving soon. How ironic, I find myself start liking him. Take today for example, I literally looked for him after my sessions, and was thinking in my mind wishing I can be half of good as him. Probably the interview session talking to him makes big difference. I really admire lots of people in Saddleback. God, help me grow more! Linda is another great example too. Carol is also great. I keep thinking people who end up seeing them are just so lucky. They are indeed great! Was I too nice and gentle? I don't know. God, this is your ministry. Do you really want me here?

I know you probably don't act like Dr. Laura, being blunt all the time. And I know the ultimate goal is helping them connect with God. I don't know.

Work harder, I guess. well, I wish I am more argumentative.

Passion

I gradually realize my passion is about people. I could spend hours wanting to know what has happened, and "what's your story". Even though it's more likely I would end up finding sad stories, when people made bad choices and maybe haven't aware of that, I still feel that's the realest thing in the world.

I had a great time meeting with Michael. Really great time. Not just because I did try intentionally become more active, involving in conversations, the relationship between Joe and him touches me a lot! I saw almost every aspect how this could counts as a big sacrifice, and I also saw how great this has impact Michael.

All those stories reminded me looking at the big picture, instead of my own problems. Yes, I do have hurt from family, and I have other problems in my past. I can just keep working on those things, and at the same time, trying to look upon my future, and embrace the world again. Love Rick's resentment and forgiveness messages a lot. Maybe I should journal down more, anyway.

I am so lucky to be here, to have him with me, and to gradually know where's my passion and goal serving God.

Veggie tales

Sweet Joe gave me the surprise today. :)
We had great time today going to SD with Michael today.
Listening to my veggie tales songs, I felt so blessed.
And meeting Michael let me admire Joe even more for he being a mentor to Michael, and really just caring about him. I really think this is a great example of how you use resource and money God gave you to bless other people.
We are not rich now, but I am sure God pleased what he chose to do.

He's so great! What an awesome guy!

Loving bf

I peeked another gift again.
Veggie Tales!!

How many times did I tell him I want to listen to them?
I remember he sings "because I love my duck" with me. The understanding, loving smile on his face. He ordered them on Amazon! Maybe he will now think letting me have the account ruins lots of his surprises! hee hee.

I have my superpen, and soon veggie tales. :P
And I have him, who is besides me, listening to my thinkings, ideas and feelings.
He's so smart and great!

Seriously, haven't seen any other man who's better than him.
Silly family feels he's not good enough. You Stupid! He's too good for you guys.

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He lent me his blender, but I broke it without successfully using it even once. :(

Grateful

I am just being so lucky and blessed recently.

Though Joe was busying preparing GRE, he was still my biggest encourager of my pre-seminary panic symptom. Secretly peeking him browsing internet, trying to buy me a great translation pen, I pretended reading my Mission of Urban Church book but feeling so grateful and loved inside.

Last night, after celebrating his great success of GRE, I couldn't help but going back to my hurting. I learned to ask for his accompany, and hug. He was gentle and caring comforting me. What surprised me a lot was that he showed up at my door at midnight when I started crying badly again. He just simply let himself be available to me when I need him. That was such a great loving action.

Today is my first class. He knew I would love to go to the wedding with him, but I couldn't. He stopped by my place bringing me flowers and lots of treats. They are exactly what I casually mentioned before when we did the short shopping. He REMEMBERS them! He's always cutely being honest about his bad at remembering small talk. This time he really surprised me!

:) He said, "remember that you're a success!"

He must be still caring about my hurting from Dad. He's so nice and loving. How lucky I am...

Yep! I am a success!
Tonight, Prof. Shouse said it's really amazing that my English ability is so great since I only came here for a short time. He said I am the best one he's ever seen who came here post-college, and could be that great!

I am a success! God loves me! God gave me lots of blessings! I am loved!

Wedding

Ethel's old roommate is getting married today.
I really wish my class is on another day, then I would be able to attend too!

Janet's officially engaged yesterday.
I was speechless when getting her call. It's a little too quick for me, even know the first shocking was from the conversation in the office.

Congratulations!

At least they are the couples that I think are doing fine and good regarding the biblical principles of dating and marriage. There are so many depressing stories about other couples that are destroying their happiness and lives, but they just don't get it.

GRE

Joe did a great job in GRE test last Saturday.

I need to say, when he announced that he's gonna start studying it, and then plan to take it in 2 weeks, I was pretty shocked. Then I kept being impressed how diligent he is. Once he set his mind on, he will be really determined, and motivated. When I described my surprises to Lisa and Janet, they just nodded their heads, pretty understanding.

Then, without much surprise, he really did it well! :)

I love how Janet, one of the smartest person I've ever met, commented about Joe. Yep, he's truly amazing, though some stupid people don't know and think they know.