Wedding preparation II + week 9 murmur

Got wedding date changed again. Big bummer!

It took me couple nights to letting go that my dearest friends won't be able to make it and looking forward to have mimi there to be "my old friend". Now it needs to change again. I've noticed when things got changed or became not satisfactory, I have the feeling of not want to care about anything. No good dates to get married, so why get married? even.

It must have something to do with the expectations and trust and the disappointments altogether. And I find I don't really know that I have confidence in the unfamiliar countries.

Week 9. Got the sexuality class midterm back. Didn't get all As. Disappointed. The answers are not enough. It feels like all the efforts were not enough. Even wanted to look external for excuses.

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Felt: abandoned. Thought: knew it's going to happen again. processing conclusion: when negative emotions come up, he will get frustrated, mad and leave.

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Got dress finalized. Guilty about the cost. Friend said he really treasures you. I am released and confident to have him take care of you now.