Wedding preparation III Premarital Counseling

Every Wednesday night is our premarital counseling appointment. We have been through half of them and have talked about several areas and issues we should anticipate in marriages. We had our second fight after being engaged this week prior to going to counseling. Joe tried to make up and talked through it before hand, but I was still stubborn.

Extended family, communication and conflict resolution are all issues related to this fight. We gradually unfolded the point till we get to the detail really closely. Joe put my reactions into words really well while he described what he saw in me. My feeling aspect was puzzled with his intention and his behaviors according to my interpretation. It's like a trapped and stuck corner where the definition of love has been redefined. Therefore, love does not look that great any more. Joe said he does not want me suffer and stuff everything inside of me. He wants me and invites me to tell him everything. Bring up things in my perspective and check with him what was going on at his side.

After the session, I tried to tell Joe the minor issues happened before just to practice answering his invitation of letting him know what happened inside of me. I felt his strong and safe arms around me hugging me really tight. I listened to his clarification and explanation of the meaning of love. All of the sudden, I got an epiphany. This man, standing right here, is offering me something that I have dreamed about demanding from people who "claims" to love me. He has seen my past, and understand where I come from. However, he embraced me as who I am and is willing to go beyond to care about me and being extra sensitive to me. I guess I finally grasp that is a sacrificing love- a love that put the other person's interest before his own.

Just to keep a record of the feeling safe and assured from him.