Forgive to live

I finally open the book, "forgive to live" one month after receiving it. I know I have not trained myself act and respond in a stressful situation regarding making decisions. It is so much easier and familiar for me to point fingers at others because I am already paralyzed by the fear, stress, unknown and consequence from past and upcoming consequence.

Though I didn't have many available brain cells analyzing how much material in that book is original or just paraphrase what I already knew. Reading some paragraphs from the "My life is your fault" chapter helps me look at my current situation and my options. Calmed down.

I could and I see myself so want to just say, ok, my parents didn't help me grow making decisions. They even "made" me make decisions that they think is the best. Now...see ...all these.....Another one I can play is pointing at bf for all decisions that he could have made differently. The book was right with it makes me feel powerful at the beginning. But then deep powerless afterwards.

Anyway, no time for a good article. Just to record that sometimes having one of these books helps! I do have choices to make my life keep growing better at this point. I can look forward to see what change I can make and what decisions I can choose instead of thinking how others ruined my could-be-better life before.

Another reminder is, my life purpose is greater than a visa. Walking out of the office without the offer is not something that will kill me. God is richer than Michael, and He certainly won't be defeated by merely this amount of money. Think it from a good way, after I go through this, I can be a person with "negotiation experience". On top of that, "to a Chinese person, whose culture is known for bad at negotiating but still have relationships afterward". After this, I will be more "sharp" in knowing what I want, and what I don't want. This could be something good!

And.
I can learn C# by myself, because I have already done it in these 2 months!