pre-marital counseling stress

I may have been mad at myself unconsciously, though it looks like I am upset with him. Guess it is because it’s easier to point fingers on others than myself.
Yep, he has his plan, thinking, stress all that. I CHOSE to live with it. That was my own decision. It feels like I am now mad at myself I didn’t take care of myself well enough before. When there was a timing issue, plan issue, I could have let him be the leader as he requested, but at the same time I should have my own boundaries- aka, consequences decided by me.
The bottom-line is I am still myself, by myself, not affiliated with anyone else. So I should have thought about what would be my next move if he didn’t do certain thing at certain time. But, I didn’t think about that. And I am now mad at me didn’t handle it correctly. It feels like I didn’t take care of myself well to use the “ring or bye” power.
Now seeing and feeling the shocks, surprises, and uncertainness of marriage not only brings excitement, stress, panic, but also triggers the anger and resentment.
It looks like against him—you are the one who didn’t do it right, who failed me, who brought me stress and disappointment…..
But it may actually against myself—I am the one who failed myself, disappointed myself, and am seeing the consequences of that coming to me.